Okay, a little honesty about the pregnancy.
I stopped sleeping through the night before I even knew I was pregnant (about a week after conception in hindsight - honestly now is that fair). But about a week ago, POOF I would wake up and it was morning! It was so nice to wake up feeling RESTED! Short lived...2 nights ago, I woke up to one of Jemma's babies crying at 4 am (Jemma carried it into our room and put it on the floor, alone, right next to my side of the bed...) and I guess my body wants to make a habit out the 4 am routine now. I have been awake for 2+ hours with little hope of sleep...being pregnant is making me crazy! I know that there are all kinds of hormones to explain all the changes to my body and my mind, but it sure doesn't make it any easier. I read everything I can find, all the books and forums etc and I have read about all the moms who become a total different person when they are pregnant. I feel that way! It is miserable to feel so cranky and out of control all the time! I find myself worrying, worrying, worrying, whether or not there is any hint of evidence to support my worry. Worried that we are going to run out money when the baby comes, worried that we will lose the house, worried that I won't want to go back to work, worried that I will want to go back to work, worried that Scott doesn't care about the baby (for the record, that is one of the worries for which there is no evidence in the slightest), worried that I don't care enough about the baby, worried that Scott can't support us while he is in school (back to the worry that we will run out of money), worried that he will never graduate, worried that I will always feel like this, worried about being tired forever, worried about feeling alone, worried about the economy, worried about the decisions being made by the current administration, worried about the price of our home declining and owing more than it is worth and then not being able to make the payment and not being able to refinance, worried about making the wrong decisions on major decisions, worried about making the wrong decisions on minor decisions like what to eat for dinner, worried that everyone else thinks I am crazy too, worried that people will be mean to me, worried that one day I will just plain lose it for good. It is so exhausting! Does it get better or is this part of the adjustment to being a mommy?
November Rain - Guns N' Roses
7 years ago
2 comments:
Hey Sweetie- this is totally normal. It'll mellow the longer you are pregnant- especially after the ultrasound where the thing you see actually looks like a baby. As for the lack of sleeping- well, sorry, the worrying gets replaced by the frequent need to pee and the impossibility of finding a comfortable position. Try to take naps when you can. When you go to bed, try to focus on just one benign thought. If that doesn't work, put a notepad and a pen by the bed- then if you have a thought you can't shake, you can jot it down and tell yourself to think about it in the morning- then you won't subconciously be concentrating on it so you won't forget... this silly tricks helped me...
Don't stress honey...it always works out in the end. YOu are starting a family and that is what we are commanded to do...and Heavenly Father will bless you for that. Ask your honey to give you a blessing...that really helped me to feel calm about my first pregnancy and helped me to know that everything would be okay.
Hang in there...you will be fine if you trust in the Lord.
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